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Posts tagged james

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In which a little knowledge proves to be a dangerous thing

Me:
http://www.architonic.com/aisht/new-world-centre-gehry-partners-llp/5100811
man, I love Frank Gehry
James:
It's a good one.
He didn't totally lose his shit like he sometimes does.
You should at least be able to tell which way is up.
Me:
oh fuck that
you can't tell which way is up on the Disney Concert Hall and that thing is epic
James:
That's what Frank tells his clients.
Me:
hahahahaha
James:
"Oh fuck that. Do you have a Pritzker, bitch?"
Me:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
"my gish prize says you can SUCK IT"
James:
Yeah. You know he's really like that.
Me:
really?
mind you at this point he has a right to be
he must be what, 80? and still making buildings like that?
I'm surprised he doesn't run around with a megaphone yelling "What? WHAT? Oh that's right bitches, I got my deconstructivism all UP in your business!"
James:
I think that's a distinct possibility.

Filed under chat james architecture frank gehry all UP in your business

Notes

In which a little context goes a long -- actually, it wouldn't really help that much.

Me:
I told Stace about the Beyoncé-in-a-French-accent thing and she couldn't breathe she was laughing so hard
she suggested tupac next
James:
Oh, that would go over well.
"Give the crack to the kids, who the hell cares? One less hungry mouth on the welfare."
Very French outlook.
Me:
HAHAHAHAHA
one less 'ungry mouse on ze welfare
wait, now I sound like Werner Herzog
James:
Basically, Werner Herzog was Tupac with a weird accent.
Actually, no -- Werner Herzog was probably Kanye with a weird accent. I think that is actually true.
Me:
hahahahaha
good point
think about it
has anyone ever actually seen them in the same room? no?
I'm just saying.
James:
Zis iz the tastiest shoe uf all timez.

Filed under chat james werner herzog

2 notes

In which my nitpicking simultaneously perturbs and endears me to James

Me:
I just realised that that effing cheryl cole parachute song makes no sense
"i don't need a parachute / baby if i got you / you're gonna catch me if i fall"
parachutes don't catch you if you fall, technically
they just kind of make you fall slower
with a smidgen more control where you land
so her lyrics really should have said "i don't need a parachute / baby if i got you / you're gonna slow my descent and help me land in relative safety"
except that she's useless
and it doesn't scan.
/end rant
James:
You are a crazy bitch.
Me:
:D
but you love me anyway, right?
James:
Most days.

Filed under chat james

Notes

In which we pointedly ignore the fact that culture is probably wasted on us

James:
Waiting for Godot with Sir Ian, 3rd August, R250. Numbers?
Me:
Me and Ari, so two.
James:
Yay Gandalf-Magneto-Estragon.
Me:
Do you think he stands at the stage door and yells YOU CANNOT PASS at random people?
James:
God, I hope so.
Me:
Ugh I just remembered at one point Estragon says "an erection!"
I'm not so sure I want to hear about Sir Ian's septuagenarian boner.

Filed under chat james septuagenarian boner

Notes

In which we unwittingly enumerate the reasons the States should not allow us in on a 3 week holiday

Me:
maybe kansas?
James:
If you like.
Me:
can we drive in and drive out
just so i can say "we're not in kansas anymore"?
***
Me:
you wanna get married in vegas?
save you the hassle of visas in the future ;)
James:
Only if I can get married as Elvis.
Me:
I'll be priscilla. it'll be beautiful.
grossly ill-advised, but beautiful
***
Me:
we are going to be the most cliched tourists ever
James:
I'm going to wear t-shirts with the names of the places I visit and take a lot of pictures of random shit. Do you think I could nail a Japanese accent before September?
***
Me:
gumbo in new orleans
James:
Is that an alcoholic beverage or a euphemism for some kind of sex?
Me:
neither
it's a type of bouillabaisse
James:
Oh, okay.
Me:
sorry to get your hopes up
***
James:
Can we get a "Don't Mess With Texas" bumper sticker?
Me:
Yes! we can put it on the rental car
in fact we should get one from every state we go through and plaster it with them
***
James:
We have to go to Dollywood.
Me:
Why on earth would i want to go there?!
James:
Oh come on. I'll get you a Dolly wig.
Me:
oh, sure, I'm totally sold on the idea now.

Filed under chat james

Notes

In which we see just how far we can lower the level of discourse

me:
Hello.
(My name is Inigo Montoya, &c.)
James:
&c.
"And shit".
me:
whahahahaha
so true
that's probably what they originally meant. 'cetera' means 'shit' - some stupid historian just didn't think it sounded dignified enough so they changed it
James:
Yeah. That's it. Cetera means shit.
me:
...somebody's going to have to tell Peter Cetera.
James:
Peter Shit.
Peter Shit - The Glory of Love. That's what they should have called it.
It would have flown off the shelves.
me:
Peter Shit - You're the Inspiration
That's terrifying
James:
Can you imagine if, some time in the future, after the human race is extinct, archaeologists from whatever species succeeds us discover our GTalk messages? As the most comprehensive record of human conversation?
me:
They'd be completely unsurprised that the human race died out.
At first it would look kosher - you know, Godot, euthanasia, music snobbery
but then once you look a little closer you realise that our entire ouevre is really just creme brulee jokes and McSweeney's references.
James:
Which is pretty good going, isn't it?
me:
Fair enough. Go us.
YOU HEAR THAT, FUTURE SPECIES? WE'RE AWESOME.

Filed under chat james

Notes

In which we see just how much mileage I can get out of a donkey show joke

James:
Someone else wanted tickets...I can't remember who.
Me:
your mom. one for her, one for the donkey.
James:
Surely donkeys get in free!
Me:
only to your mom.
*****
James:
I hear it has Oscar buzz.
Me:
your mother has oscar buzz
"one woman. one donkey. one desire"
"this summer, The Show Must Go On"
(cue queen)
*****
James:
You probably have Jodi Picoult hidden in your trashy literature stash. So when you bring boys home they won't see it.
Me:
Your mother probably has it a lot easier. the donkeys can't read.
James:
She was so upset when they ate her copy of Against the Day, though.
*****
Me:
I bet your mother would love the idea of DST
James:
Of DST? Why?
Me:
What's not to like about Donkey Sexy Time?

Filed under chat james

0 notes

In which we discuss the Academy's views on one Mr Zachary Efron

James:
Do you know that Zac Efron is making a film called Me and Orson Welles? The plot sounds bizarre
Me:
i heard something about it, yeah. what's the plot?
James:
Something about Zac Efron convinces Orson Welles to cast him in a play. And then he screws Claire Danes. Or something.
Me:
i'd watch that.
James:
Because Zac Efron is in it.
Me:
duh.
also i am curious to see if he can actually act
because mincing around in a basketball uniform and/or aviator sunglasses - something he is undoubtedly very good at - does not an actor make
James:
True.
Has he ever done anything else?
Me:
not that i know of
apparently he is in the edifying cinematic masterpiece, american teens
http:
//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Teens
"In 1980, a group of students from the University of Cambridge pass his vacations around the world and meet different guys. In 2009, The Group pass his vacations around the world but the had very bad problems and Chip a Rome person is a stolen."
i can't wait.
James:
I hear it has Oscar buzz.

Filed under chat james zac efron

Notes

In which we establish which breed of puppy cures singlehood and loneliness

Me:
husky puppy. fuck yes.
http:
//media.photobucket.com/image/husky%20puppy/xmedusa_dreamsx/husky_pup.jpg
James:
Isn't that a little done?
Me:
do you have a better suggestion?
James:
That little thing is cute, though.
Me:
zackly
he's feisty
rrrrrOWR
James:
I'd get so much action.
I must have this puppy.
The reason I am single and lonely is because I do not have this puppy.
Me:
Yeah, that must be it.

Filed under chat james