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Posts tagged chat

10 notes

In which we make very sure that Tony Danza is alive

Stacey:
Is Tony Danza dead?
Me:
Not...that I know of?
Why?
Stacey:
Just asking.
Me:
Cursory Google turns up nothing.
Nothing on wiki or twitter either
Stacey:
Noted. Good. I like him.
Me:
But the amount of "hold me closer tony danza" tweets that come up is frightening.
Who said he was dead?
Stacey:
No one. I just haven't heard anything about him in a while.
Me:
So you were just concerned for his wellbeing?
Stacey:
Exactly.

Filed under chat stacey hold me closer tony danza

1 note

In which a little knowledge proves to be a dangerous thing

Me:
http://www.architonic.com/aisht/new-world-centre-gehry-partners-llp/5100811
man, I love Frank Gehry
James:
It's a good one.
He didn't totally lose his shit like he sometimes does.
You should at least be able to tell which way is up.
Me:
oh fuck that
you can't tell which way is up on the Disney Concert Hall and that thing is epic
James:
That's what Frank tells his clients.
Me:
hahahahaha
James:
"Oh fuck that. Do you have a Pritzker, bitch?"
Me:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
"my gish prize says you can SUCK IT"
James:
Yeah. You know he's really like that.
Me:
really?
mind you at this point he has a right to be
he must be what, 80? and still making buildings like that?
I'm surprised he doesn't run around with a megaphone yelling "What? WHAT? Oh that's right bitches, I got my deconstructivism all UP in your business!"
James:
I think that's a distinct possibility.

Filed under chat james architecture frank gehry all UP in your business

Notes

In which a little context goes a long -- actually, it wouldn't really help that much.

Me:
I told Stace about the Beyoncé-in-a-French-accent thing and she couldn't breathe she was laughing so hard
she suggested tupac next
James:
Oh, that would go over well.
"Give the crack to the kids, who the hell cares? One less hungry mouth on the welfare."
Very French outlook.
Me:
HAHAHAHAHA
one less 'ungry mouse on ze welfare
wait, now I sound like Werner Herzog
James:
Basically, Werner Herzog was Tupac with a weird accent.
Actually, no -- Werner Herzog was probably Kanye with a weird accent. I think that is actually true.
Me:
hahahahaha
good point
think about it
has anyone ever actually seen them in the same room? no?
I'm just saying.
James:
Zis iz the tastiest shoe uf all timez.

Filed under chat james werner herzog

0 notes

In which we discuss Zen and the art of chicken-kicking (Also, question our sanity.)

Me:
in my next life I want to be a chicken
Danya:
But... YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHY YOU CROSSED THE ROAD
There will always be a million different theories.
Me:
Ah but you see I will be a chicken so I WILL ALREADY KNOW
Danya:
Ah, so all chickens are just bitches by not telling anyone else.
Me:
they cannot speak, dan.
for all we know all that goddamn clucking is them trying to impart all the secrets of the universe
and we just keep thinking they're hungry/stupid
Danya:
They are hungry and mostly stupid.
Me:
how do you know?
Danya:
I kicked a chicken once.
And it just looked at me and clucked.
Me:
hahahahahahaha
what???
Danya:
No, I didn't kick a chicken.
But I shot at it with my katty.
Me:
Dan!
Danya:
I WAS YOUNG AND LIVING ON A FARM DO NOT JUDGE ME
Me:
scandalous
well, you see!
it's probably all zen and shit on account of how its vast store of knowledge has helped it to transcend normal human boundaries of thought and understanding
which is why it just looked at you and clucked
had you been able to understand it, there would have been whole WORLDS of knowledge in that cluck
Danya:
Does that mean it felt nothing? And you could legitimately kick chickens all day?
Me:
NO DANYA THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM SAYING
I am saying that on account of it having ascended to a higher plane of existence, it understands you and your need to harm small farmyard animals, and does not begrudge you your base human impulses
Danya:
So in that understanding comes forgiveness? And I could just do it over and over again and be forgiven every time?
Me:
it didn't react or retaliate because it understands the futility of violence
you cannot just kick chickens when you feel like it
all you are doing is propagating an injurious and broken society
the chicken was trying to set an example
you should follow its lead
Danya:
And let people kick me? I REFUSE TO CLUCK
Me:
METAPHOR FOR LIFE.
If we all just kept kicking chickens when we felt like it, what would that make us?
Danya:
...I really feel like kicking a chicken now.

Filed under chat danya METAPHOR FOR LIFE

2 notes

In which my nitpicking simultaneously perturbs and endears me to James

Me:
I just realised that that effing cheryl cole parachute song makes no sense
"i don't need a parachute / baby if i got you / you're gonna catch me if i fall"
parachutes don't catch you if you fall, technically
they just kind of make you fall slower
with a smidgen more control where you land
so her lyrics really should have said "i don't need a parachute / baby if i got you / you're gonna slow my descent and help me land in relative safety"
except that she's useless
and it doesn't scan.
/end rant
James:
You are a crazy bitch.
Me:
:D
but you love me anyway, right?
James:
Most days.

Filed under chat james