January 2010
25 posts
1 tag
In which we establish two things: whence the...
Me: So given that we already know that Steve puts little bits of his heart and liver into the MacBooks and iPhones, what's he going to put in the tablets?
Jon: Gonads.
Me: So they're just releasing two of them, then.
Jon: Ittybitty slice o' nads?
Me: One nad molecule per tablet.
...he's probably saving his pecker for gen 2.
1 tag
The 2009 Feltron Annual Report →
It gets prettier every year.
2 tags
The International Jurassic Park Erotic Fan-Fiction... →
You’re welcome.
1 tag
on accents
piscesinpurple:
imaveronica:
I’m always amused when I hear someone make a definitive declaration regarding his or her lack of accent. Or, even funnier, statements such as “there is no such thing as a British accent”. Because of course you do and of course there is.
I can understand how, for example, a person from England might bristle at the suggestion that he or she sounds just like a person...
1 tag
BREAKING: Popeye admits to spinach use →
Neat lampoon of Mark McGwire, wherein Popeye claims, “Looking back, I wish I had never sailed during the spinach era.”
1 tag
Best. Engagement announcement. Ever. →
2 tags
In which we unwittingly enumerate the reasons the...
Me: maybe kansas?
James: If you like.
Me: can we drive in and drive out
just so i can say "we're not in kansas anymore"?
***
Me: you wanna get married in vegas?
save you the hassle of visas in the future ;)
James: Only if I can get married as Elvis.
Me: I'll be priscilla. it'll be beautiful.
grossly ill-advised, but beautiful
***
Me: we are going to be the most cliched tourists ever
James: I'm going to wear t-shirts with the names of the places I visit and take a lot of pictures of random shit. Do you think I could nail a Japanese accent before September?
***
Me: gumbo in new orleans
James: Is that an alcoholic beverage or a euphemism for some kind of sex?
Me: neither
it's a type of bouillabaisse
James: Oh, okay.
Me: sorry to get your hopes up
***
James: Can we get a "Don't Mess With Texas" bumper sticker?
Me: Yes! we can put it on the rental car
in fact we should get one from every state we go through and plaster it with them
***
James: We have to go to Dollywood.
Me: Why on earth would i want to go there?!
James: Oh come on. I'll get you a Dolly wig.
Me: oh, sure, I'm totally sold on the idea now.
“If I exorcise my devils
well, my angels may leave too.”
– Tom Waits, from “Please Call Me, Baby”
Tumblr, you cannot just CHANGE shit without some...
It makes me twitchy.
1 tag
Today marked 6 months since the death of my...
I got up and got ready for work in the usual manner, pleased that there was sunshine and blue sky. It seemed fitting; respectful, even, that the weather was prepared to make an effort today.
I wore black, although I did not wear black to the funeral. I had vague ideas about going to church to light a candle after work. I managed not to cry.
And then, as with every day, the last thing I did...
1 tag
Survey draws conclusion that G-spot is a myth. →
Posted without comment.
1 tag
Nice girls finish drunk. →
